Blog about Cedric

Today I had the afternoon off. It was a welcomed break from my month long stint of working, no days off. Seriously? I haven’t had a day off in a MONTH. Including weekends. I just found out that I have to work this weekend as well. Se la vi. My cleaning lady was here today. Have I mentioned lately what a GOD SEND that woman is? I love her. Working for a month straight, half of it out of town and being pregnant makes one very unwilling to do house work. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have someone to help me and TJ around the house. Anyway, I got a manicure and pedicure at the salon on Post, as a treat to me. I do it about every two weeks and it’s pretty cheap. About $7.00 for a manicure. Not bad. When I took the top of my uniform off, it’s like a blouse, you could see my Bella Band holding my pants up. I got some weird looks from a couple of other women in uniform in the salon. It’s kind of a no-no to wear non-military items with your uniform. One of the manicurist that I know (I know pretty much all of them after going there for about two years) noticed the women and loudly said, “Oh! Myllissa! When is your baby due again? You are starting to show more!” I told her in October, which she already knew, and then I told her that we were expecting a boy. Her and a couple other manicurist stopped what they were doing and hugged me and told me congrats. The two women who gave me the evil eye a minute ago looked pretty sheepish after that. TJ had to work this afternoon, so I took a cab home. I went to a bakery down the street and got some lunch, then I went to a wine/flower shop and bought a gorgeous bouquet of flowers for myself and a bottle of wine for a friend who is moving to Japan. While I was admiring the flowers at the shop, a Korean woman came up to me with the biggest smile and loudly, in Korean, exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! Look at you! You’re pregnant! How precious!” Or something like that. I said thanks and that my Korean was very bad and she said sorry and congrats and backed off. I’ve never had someone notice like that before, who didn’t know me prior to being pregnant. Today was really my first day where consistently, people are remarking on my new bump. It’s neat. Up until this point, I’ve felt, well, fat. Really fat. Even last night, TJ and I were in bed watching tv and I noticed out of the corner of my eye him glance at me and double take. He then leaned in a little and grinned ear to ear. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him look at me that way before. I asked him what was up, and he smiled bigger. He said that I looked cute. My face was getting rounder. I asked him if it was getting rounder because I was getting fatter or what. He said, no, it was different. It was that pregnancy round that many women’s faces take on. It was flattering. I have only gained back about four of the ten pounds I’ve lost during my first trimester. My tummy is much more pronounced as are my breasts. The acne on my face is starting to calm down, finally. The vomiting has returned but so has my appetite and the nausea part only comes right before I throw up. Thank God. I’m also sleeping better through the night. All in all, I think I’m making it over the torturous hump of the first trimester and am easing into my second. On Friday the 13th I will be 13 weeks pregnant. Kind of weird, isn’t it? Even though I have to work on Saturday late in the afternoon, I’m still going to try and squeeze in my 3D ultrasound at 1:00. I’m really excited to do it and I am a little frustrated that I may have to reschedule it for another weekend. Cross your fingers that I can fit it into my work schedule.

Here is a letter from Lama Zopa:

My most dear brothers and sisters,

I thought to mention this.

In order for oneself and others to have a healthy life – I don’t mean healthy in the sense of diet and exercise, I am talking about a healthy life in the sense of one’s mind and attitude, the actions of one’s body, speech, and mind being positive, healthy, virtuous and pure – the main cause for this is to abstain as much as possible from negative actions, which result in suffering. This means actions done with negative mind, with ignorance, anger, attachment, and the self-cherishing thought. One way to do this is to abstain from the ten non-virtuous actions, which are killing, stealing, telling lies, and so forth. In Christianity there are also the ten commandments.

If you harm others, there are consequences – immediate consequences and also long-term consequences – that you experience for many hundreds and thousands of lifetimes. These are the result of karma. The immediate consequence of harming others is that others are angry with
you, upset with you. They find out your mistakes, you get in trouble, you are killed by others, etc. In order not to be killed by others, to have a long life and be healthy, then it is important that you do not create the cause to experience this karma.

It is important to abstain from harming other living beings, including animals, any being that has a mind and feels suffering and happiness. This is different from plants, which do not have mind. Happiness and suffering are dependent on causes and conditions, having the right causes and conditions. For example, there are specific causes and conditions needed for a plant to grow (stem, trees, branches, leaves, flowers, and fruit) and then also to die. Living beings have suffering and all the causes of sufferings – the delusions, meaning ignorance, anger, and attachment, and the actions arising from these delusions. These actions plant more seeds causing more delusions to arise, and like this, the karma doesn’t end.

By harming others out of ignorance, anger, and attachment, you cause suffering. Actions created from the disturbing obscuring negative thoughts – including the root, ignorance – are what cause us to die and be reborn and experience all the sufferings again and again.

So this is the fundamental solution: Don’t harm others, and then you will not receive harm from others. Even if a child shoots you, or an unknown person shoots you, or an animal attacks you, or mosquitoes bite you, or an ant bites you, or even the tiniest insect harms you … This includes all the problems in the world, from suicide up to war. All your suffering and happiness is due to either a lack of education of mind or a correct education of mind.

Here, what I am suggesting is at least to avoid the ten non-virtues, as at least as much as possible.

With much love and prayers,

Lama Zopa

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